It was the first lecture of an elective module that I took during year 2. I was sitting by myself and two seats away from me was a girl who doesn’t look local to me. Belonging to the group of sleep-deprived students, I dozed off soon after lesson started and missed out on some important information about the module as a result. Since she was seated nearest to me, I seek her help regarding the module information that I missed and she was kind to answer all my queries.
After the lesson, I approached her to introduce myself and to thank her for the help. I extended my hand to initiate a handshake in the midst of introducing myself. Surprisingly, she declined the handshake offer, leaving me feeling rather awkward with my right hand extended and interacting with air. Before leaving, I asked about her nationality and she gladly replied, “Sri Lanka.”
From my understanding, handshake is also common in their culture but it usually occurs between the same sexes. Many Sri Lankan women avoid physical contact with the opposite sex unless he is from the same family. In fact, this conservative practice also applies in many countries of the Middle East which are largely conservative societies.
Thinking back, I guessed the above account was the first intercultural situation I have encountered in NUS so far. It was definitely a unique experience and I was lucky that it was not a hug that I offer or else she will scream!
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Hi Johny,
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I think you have described your right hand in a amusing manner "interacting with air". Nevertheless, you have broaden my horizon that even women from Sri Lanka are also so conservative because from what I initially knew, only conservative female muslims are restricted by such "touch me not" rule. In addition, in my opinion, if you have given her a hug, she would have kick you somewhere that would leave you immobilized. Lastly, I guess it is a good experience interacting with people from different culture so as to broaden our horizon.
Ji Fang
Hi Johny,
ReplyDeleteYou have cited a very interesting and humourous encounter. I'm sure that you won't give a hug to a newfound lecture mate, since we should be of the same cultural background ha ha. Certainly gained a new insight into the cultural norms of Sri Lankan and Middle Eastern women. I'm sure that should not apply for all Sri Lankan and Middle Eastern women, but I guess it is better for us to err on the safe side. :-)
Ken
Wow johny, it this your way to have "intercultural communication" with girls by pretending to fall asleep and then wake up and ask them for notes followed by a self introduction?Well,I am sure this is an isolated incident. haha
ReplyDeletePerhaps the Sri Lankan girl was too shy to explain herself on why she did not shake your hand.In my opinion in order to minimise intercultural misunderstanding, it is important for involved parties to explain themselves and resolved issues in a light hearted manner.
If i were in johny's shoes,i would certainly feel embarassed and most probably do research and find out why she didnt shake my hands.
I have learn one thing about sri lankan culture.
Hieyo!
ReplyDeleteThis is an amusing write-up. And Ji Fang's comment is very interesting.
This example you cited has really brought out the importance in cultural understanding and awareness. In addition to communicating with the other party regarding the differences in cultural norms, I would think the internet is quite a good source of information too. (n_n)
Thanks for the bite-size cultural information. Now I know how to interact better with Sri Lankans. In fact, I find that Sri Lankans are quite shy, even the males. It was good that you did not feel terribly offended at that point in time.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting encounter Johny has brought up. Most of us naturally act or react based on our own cultural or social norms without first considering the other party's. I agree with Kenny - 'it's better to err on the safe side', especially when we are unsure.
ReplyDeleteHey Jonny,
ReplyDeleteI guess the girl thought you are weird cause you are too polite. If you really hug the girl, I think it will be super hilarious like what JF said.
I have never interact with any Sri Lanka people before, that is why I am not aware about their culture. Thanks for enlightening me.